Into The Wastes

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The dilapidated wastes stretched his arms out across the baron fields of grey, as they stood against the violent winds, bits of scrap being kicked up, and plummeting to the earth like leaves. They stood together, their hands intertwined as they fought the winds, hoping to reach one of the grey spires for shelter.

“A bit nippy, innit?” Said he, as he scratched his patchwork beard with his free hand, one of his wooden fingers flying off, to which he was none-too surprised or disappointed.

“Oh, and so it is! I hadn’t noticed, if you’d like the truth of it.” She replied.

“I wouldn’t like the truth of it, thank you.”

“I’m sorry love, then I had noticed from the very start, even before you, I’d say.”

“A fair estimate I’d say, very fair.”

What little fluid there was left in the bottle spilled over her face, burning what skin was left. She seemed none-too surprised or disappointed.

“Where are we going, dear?” Asked he.

“Hm, can’t say I know. I’ve been walking towards the 5th spire to the left, but I supposed the 4th spire to the right will be just as prosperous.”

“Oh, I thought we were walking towards the 1st spire in the sky, though I suppose the 7th under the earth would be just as prosperous.”

“What’s that mean?” Asked she.

“I beg your pardon?” Asked he.

“Prosperous, never heard that word before.”

“Ah, I’m not sure either, I thought you knew, you seem smart.”

“But I am! The smartest there is or ever could be!” Replied she.

“I believe you, I’m sure I don’t know anyone smarter.” Replied he.

“But that’s not true, love, you know yourself!” Replied she, as she went in for a kiss from he.

“Aw, how kind!” Said he, as he kissed she.

Somehow, they had made it to a spire, although they didn’t know how or when, or where.

“We’ve made it, love!” said she.

“And so we have, dear, and so we have! I must say, I’m the happiest I’ve been in years!” Replied he.

“Oh, and how many years is that?” Asked she.

“Oh, hm, well I’d say no more than 4, perhaps a week.”

“4 weeks or 1 year?”

“4 weeks and 1 year, perhaps!”

“Ah, perhaps!” Said she, before she looked up to the endless walls above her. “I must say, love, I’ve been very happy through all the years, months, weeks, and days we’ve been travelling, if you’d like to know the truth of it. I’ve spent so much time with you!”

“I wouldn’t like to know the truth of it, thank you. But I do so appreciate your affectionate gestures!” Said he.

“Oh, sorry love, let me correct the record then with falsities and falsehoods. I have been so miserable I can barely stand it, this could be the end for me, love. And I do not appreciate you in the slightest!”

“Aw, poor dear, I do so wish that you did appreciate me.” Said he, as tears welled in his eyes.

“But love, I do appreciate you, and I do love you, if you’d like to know the truth of it! I only made the falsity because you had asked me!” Said she.

“I would not like the truth of it, thank you.”

“Oh, I see.” Said she, as she went to take another swig of her fluid, only to find nothing left.

“Where’s the water gone?” Asked she.

“I don’t remember the last time we’ve had water, dear. In fact, I think I’ve never seen water before.” Said he.

“Not since the bay, anyhow.”

“Yes, not since the bay, for which perhaps we will find comfort within soon!”

“Oh, don’t get me all excited and daydreamy, love!”

“You do know how much I love making my dear excited!” Said he.

“I love you so much, love!” Said she.

“For all my days, I will love you, too!”

Looking down, they saw a little pup had been wagging its tail next to them for some time, waiting its turn to drink from the fluid.

“Aw, look at the baby pup!” Said she, as she poured some of the fluid onto the ground for the pup.

“Don’t give him too much, we’ll need all the water we can if we’re to make it to the refill station in Baltimore.” Replied he.

“Where’s that, love?”

“Somewhere across the pond, I’d say.”

“Across the bay perhaps!” Said she.

“Ah perhaps! Although with all the water we have, I’d hardly say we’re in any need of the bay.”

“But swimming, love, swimming!”

“Oh, I had forgotten swimming! We are in immediate need of the bay, I say!”

“I say as well, love!”

The pup lapped up all the water, then got on two legs and walked away.

“I’ve never seen a pup walk on its two legs like that!” Said he.

“Oh, I thought that was how all pups walked, perhaps we’re thinking of something else?”

“Very true.” Said he. “I’ve only ever seen people walk like that, maybe its people?”

“Like us?” Asked she.

“Ah, then maybe it isn’t people.” Replied he.

“Apt, love, very apt.” Replied she.

“What’s that mean?” Asked he.

“Oh, it means that you’re very special, someone I want to spend forever with!" Replied she.

“I know what that means, I mean apt!”

“Oh, I think it’s a mountain of some kind.”

“Fascinating!”

“Very!”

“Are we going to apt?” Asked he.

“Someday, after our job is done, and the dust has settled; maybe we’ll see the moon and the stars, and dance in the amber solar waves emitted from the sun’s gaze!” Replied she.

“I don’t know what any of those words mean, but I like them!”

“Nor do I, love, I read them off of this note I found on the ground.” Said she, passing the note to he. It was just a set of colored swirls, ranging from blue to yellow, but nothing else, only varying shades of those two colors.

“Can’t say I can read, dear.” Said he.

“Nor can I, love, I just made up what I said, thought it sounded nice!” Replied she.

“And it did! Very nice, dear, very nice indeed!”

“Aw, thank you, love! Give me a kiss?”

“Whenever you say, dear!” replied he, before kissing she passionately.

“The passion, it’s more than I can withstand!” Said she.

“Then prepare yourself, because I’m coming in for another one!” Said he, before kissing she again, with a passion to match.

The two then held onto each other tightly, before making their way up the spire, stepping on the wall, before their perspective shifted, and the wall became the floor, and the endless spire above turned to an endless hall ahead.

“Funny how nature works.” Said he.

“Barely seems to, love.” Replied she.

“Very true, dear, very true indeed.”

The two then began their trek through the hall, marking where they went with the crust of the bread they carried, because neither of them liked the crust.

After a moment of walking, they reached the end of the endless hall.

She looked down, hoping to find the breadcrusts, but instead, she found the upright pup, chowing down on the last remaining breadcrust.

“Hey, pup!” She said.

“What’s the matter, dear?”

“The pup stole our breadcrusts, how will we find our way back?”

“It’s a straight line back that way, dear.” Said he, pointing back towards the winding path they came from.

“Oh, I see, my mistake, love.” Said she.

“Don’t worry about it none, dear, we all make them!”

The two then made their way past the end of the endless hall, and into the chamber at the other side, which opened up into a place entirely new. Before them stood a room of unknown architecture, with walls made of bubbly metal, which jittered back and forth in some rhythmic pattern, but no matter how hard she and he looked, they couldn’t ascertain this pattern. In front of them was an overlook that was connected to stairs on either side.

They approached the overlook, hoping to see who was inside, the pup following close behind, now skipping with excitement, much to the joy of she and he.

“Aw, look at the pup skip!” Said he.

“It’s adorable, I didn’t even know they could do that!” Replied she.

“Nor did I, I thought pups typically walked only on 4 legs, not just the two like people!”

“Oh, then maybe the pup is people!” Said she.

“Like us?”

“Ah, then maybe it isn’t people.” Replied she.

“Very mountain, dear, very mountain.” Said he.

“I don’t know what that means, love.”

“Well see, a dear is a type of animal, and I call you that because they are my favorite animal, and you are my favorite person!”

“I know that, love! I mean I don’t know what a mountain is.”

“Oh, I see. I think it means apt.”

“Ah, that is a very mountain observation!”

The two then walked up the stairs, as the pup walked up the opposite stairs on the other side of the overlook, holding into the kitty’s hand so that there were an equal amount of people on either staircase.

Inside the overlook sat a non-binary train conductor, suckling a lollipop as they read the paper upside down.

“Those are destroying the new generation.” Muttered the kitty to the pup.

“the newspaper?” asked the pup.

“Yeah, those! All the kids have their noses glued to them!”

“Aw, look at the cute animals chattering!” Said she.

“I haven’t the faintest idea what it is they’re saying.” Said he.

“But it’s cute!” Said she.

“Just like you, dear!” Said he.

“Aw, only as cute as you!” Replied she.

“HUH?!” Said they, ripping their headphones off, and throwing their phone on the ground.

“Are you alright, my friend?” Asked he.

“Was just reading the paper, wasn’t expecting no visitors, to be frank.”

“Oh, your name is Frank too?” Asked he.

“No, is yours?” Asked they.

“No, afraid not. Thank you for asking, though!”

“What do you do around here, Frank?” Asked she.

“Well, that’s not my name, first off, so write that down.”

She immediately wrote that down.

“Second—are you getting all this?”

“Yes, friend, I am!” Said he, who was getting all this.

“Good, because I hate repeating myself! There’s not a single thing in this world worse than one repeating something already said, I absolutely hate it!” Said they.

“I absolutely respect and relate to that sentiment! I’ve never repeated myself once in all my days!” Said she.

“Well what about your weeks, months and years?” Asked he.

“Oh, well I can’t speak for those.”

“Anyhow, second, I was reading the paper!” Said they.

“Ah, I see! But if I may be so bold, what do you do as a job?” Asked the kitty.

“Aw, look at the cute little kitty trying to speak!” Said she.

“I can’t understand a word of it, though.” Said he.

“Neither can I.” Said them.

“I can, if you need me to translate.” Replied the pup.

“And now the pup has joined in the chatter! How cute!” Said she.

“Well, myself and my wife are searching for Baltimore and the bay, if you’d like to come along!” Said he.

“I’m afraid I can’t, I’m far too busy. My work takes up all my time, you understand.” Said them, “and besides, I’m not entirely sure what Baltimore or the bay is.”

“That’s understandable, nor do I.” Said she.

“I know! I can also show you how to get there from here!” Said the kitty.

“Oh, that cute little kitty has no idea what’s going on, does it? Just endlessly chattering, perhaps in the hopes of some food!” Said they.

“Very true, do you like it?” Asked she.

“The chatter or the kitty?”

She and he thought for a while, before they said in unison “both!”

“Ah, then yes, I do indeed like both!” said they.

“Then you could keep both, if you want, we have the pup here!” Said he.

“I would prefer if the kitty stayed with us.” Said the pup.

“Hm, I think that the pup would be lonely without its kitty friend!”

“Yes I would be!” Said the pup.

“As would I be if I didn’t have my pup friend!” Said the kitty.

“Well then, I must retract my offer.” Said she.

“Understandable. I would like to retract my offer to allow both of you to stay inside my overlook, as I must get back to work.

“But you never offered anything.” Said he.

“Oh, I’ve graduated from never repeating myself to never stating anything. I hate it when people state things, if only no one spoke this world wouldn’t have been ruined!”

“I don’t think it’s ruined, I’m very happy!” Said she.

“So am I!” said he.

“CEASE YOUR STATEMENTS!” said they, before kicking them out of the overlook.

“Wow, they have quite the left kick!” Said she.

“Can’t speak for theif left kick, but their right one has surely left a bruise!” Said he.

“And with that, my comrades, we must be off. Good luck on finding Baltimore and the bay!” said the pup.

“The cute little pup!” Replied she.

The pup and the kitty then dematerialized.

“Nice fellows, and so well-spoken!” Said he.

“Truly!” Said she.

The two then walked onward from the bubbly metal room, and exited through the door on the other side of the room, excited to see what adventures still lie in store for them.